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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Laugh It Away . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .




 


 

Laugh It Away

 

 

Three Easy Ways to Die:

 

Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.

Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.

 

 

A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

 

One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:

 

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

 

 

Three FASTEST means of Communication:

 

1. Tele-Phone

2. Tele-Vision

3. Tell to Woman

Need still Faster-Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE.

 

 

Love your friends not their sisters.  Love your sisters not their friends.

 

 

A man got 2 wishes from GOD … He asked for the Best Wine and Best Woman …

 

Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.

Moral: BE SPECIFIC

 

 

Let us be generous like this: Four Ants are moving through a forest …

 

They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

Ant 1 says: we should KILL him.

Ant 2 says: No, Let us break his Leg alone.

Ant 3 says: No, we will just throw him away from our path.

Ant 4 says: No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

 

 

If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.

 

If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

 

 

Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE?

 

Answer: On their MARRIAGE.

 

 

When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.

 

Even after you pray, if you are still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

 

 

Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

 

Because according to the Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.



 






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